Posts tagged thought
Posts tagged thought
Everything we have ever known, know now or will ever know is a sensory experience, a mixture of input from an array of receptors built into the structure of our body, all feeding a constant stream of data to our brains.
That frustrating feeling you get when people tell you “You need to be more self-confident.” and you just want to grab them and shake them and yell “But my self-loathing is what keeps me wanting to do better!”.
Because, if I liked myself, I would never try to improve who I am and that would lead to stagnation. And in the supreme irony, it is always the drive to do better that I am complimented on. As if, somehow, the self-loathing and the determination to do better are not linked.
It is a staggering misunderstanding in how we comprehend personalities that we want to separate the “good” aspects of someone from the “bad” aspects. As if these traits are somehow independent. The truth, as I see it, is that the things that make us driven, that compel us to do better are often the same things that make us look in the mirror and think “You worthless git.”.
A person’s mind is a closely woven mesh of threads and a single strand may wind it’s way around many points, such that a tug at this end may find itself pulling on something completely unexpected. We must remember this when seeking to give others advice: We are the sum of all aspects of our minds, good and bad and neither extreme is the real us but a combination, as inseparable as light and shadow. Both are requisite for the whole to exist.
And the joyous feeling of truly being the master of your own life.
Yeah, so you’re an Orc and you’re not that great with magic… but that doesn’t mean you can’t get better at it, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn it and do it. You might never be as good as the Elves (who are born with latent magic skill) but there is literally no reason why you can’t be a mage, if that’s what you really want in life. It will be harder and there will be those who don’t understand your struggle, but if you really want it, you can be it.
So it is in real life. I mean, it’s tempting to believe that everyone is equally able to do all things and that anyone can master any skill, but that’s really not true. Some people are just better by nature at certain things than others. Certain traits my be common along certain lines be they genetic or social, but really it’s a crap shoot, and you get the dice roll at birth.
But, like the Orc mage… just because you’re not born good at something or even born bad at something that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn it and do it. Provided you aren’t saddled with a truly crippling disorder, provided you can learn, then you can be whatever you want to be.
That’s the great thing about being alive: You can change and you have the power to shape that change in the direction you desire. So long as you live, you have hope to be that dream.
I have often been told that I need to work outside my comfort zone to improve my artistic skills.
Apparently so that I can better provide people with entertainment that doesn’t challenge their comfort zones.
Well, yes, self analysis.
Although one must still remember the need for spontaneity and the willingness to take leaps of faith. Again the lesson I learned from Atrus: Balance is the key to life.
However, what I was commenting on was the fact that I find it nearly impossible not to think about things in the world around me. This includes many things that most people are willing to just unplug their brains for, such as movies and television. Often I have been told that I need to think less or that I should just ‘not think about it so much’.
The problem with these suggestions is the idea that it is possible for me to disengage my brain from the input. It is not. At least, not usually. For me to stop thinking requires an interactive activity. A video game, some thing creative or imaginative. Writing, drawing, singing, etc. And in these cases it is not so much that I am not thinking, as much as my thought is absorbed in something else. In video games my mind is absorbed in the mechanics of the gameplay. In creative endeavors my mind is absorbed in the imaginings of whatever I am working on. And so on.
I simply cannot not think. To do so is like trying to stop a raging waterfall. Yes it can be done, but it’s a lot easier to just make use of it.
I find it a lot more stressful to not think about things…
Open space, there in my mind.
As spanning realm, not yet defined.
Misty, there, and shadowed, too.
Sunny, here, with rainbowed dew.
Open place, have yet to find.
That can’t be filled, or yet defined.
Funny, there, with light heart, too.
Scary, here, as darkened tomb.
Open case, of mental kind.
I fill with thought, as yet defined.