Of course you do, my dear and that is why we at PoeTech Industries will make sure that your soul is given the best care possible.
Just sign on the dotted line and we will ensure your soul lives on in luxury in one of our best Soul Containment Facilities. You can even come and visit your soul whenever you like* and see just how well we’re doing.
Now, you might be wondering “What do I get out of this?” and you would be quite right to ask. After all, a soul is a precious thing and one does not simply give up ones soul to just anyone!
That is why, if you act now, I can offer you an exclusive deal! Just give us your soul for safe keeping and we can promise you that within six to eight years your life will be completely changed! Really! It’s just that simple!
So, really, how can you afford not to do it?!
*Soul visitations are held only with two-to-eight weeks advance notice and a visiting fee of seventy five dollars, paid in advance. Visiting hours are 1pm-2pm on semi-irregular Mondays, on every third January when the year is not divisible by a rational number.