Fun fact time: many of my old acquaintances still make joking comments whenever they see me wearing pink, because as a child (and honestly pretty much right up to high school) I would refuse to associate with any pink objects.
It wasn’t because I didn’t like pink, it was because since I appeared female I was supposed to/ it was immediately assumed that I did and therefore it pissed me the ever-loving fuck off. I was ashamed to like it, which is terrible because pink is an awesome color. But when you shove it down young girls throats it gets really old, really fast.
Give the child the fucking rainbow, and if they pick pink, it’s not because they are female and/or effeminate, it’s because they like the color pink.
(Source: feminishblog, via redmagus77)
That frustrating feeling you get when people tell you “You need to be more self-confident.” and you just want to grab them and shake them and yell “But my self-loathing is what keeps me wanting to do better!”.
Because, if I liked myself, I would never try to improve who I am and that would lead to stagnation. And in the supreme irony, it is always the drive to do better that I am complimented on. As if, somehow, the self-loathing and the determination to do better are not linked.
It is a staggering misunderstanding in how we comprehend personalities that we want to separate the “good” aspects of someone from the “bad” aspects. As if these traits are somehow independent. The truth, as I see it, is that the things that make us driven, that compel us to do better are often the same things that make us look in the mirror and think “You worthless git.”.
A person’s mind is a closely woven mesh of threads and a single strand may wind it’s way around many points, such that a tug at this end may find itself pulling on something completely unexpected. We must remember this when seeking to give others advice: We are the sum of all aspects of our minds, good and bad and neither extreme is the real us but a combination, as inseparable as light and shadow. Both are requisite for the whole to exist.